Anya's Pregnancy Leads Her To Cut
by Sinder3lla408
Summary: Anya's pergnant... But she's single... And her family and friends turned on her... She decides to run away and establish a bad cutting habbit. Then she learns the hard way that she has to take responsiblility for for actions...
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1 **

What's wrong? Maybe the part that I may be pregnant, Sav left me with that, Sav's got that Farrah bitch, but I still love him. I have nobody now. Besides maybe a baby... Me and Holly J are kinda close, but still... I don't like Chantaye much, and I have nobody now. And I'm not even sure I can trust myself anymore.

Well, if I do have a baby, I'll name her Alyssa Emily. I love that name. I also love Sav, I don't wanna have this baby on my own. I miss Sav. I love him. But I'm doing fine without him. I'm fiiiiiiiii- no, I'm not. My stonmach's killing me. I'm full of wanting to know if I'm pregnant...

I took a test.  
Oh my effing god, I'm pregnant!  
Okay, Alyssa 's all I know what I'm gonna do so far. What am I gonna tell Sav? My parents? Oh my god...  
I need to tell somebody, I can't do this on my own. I think I need to say something before I go crazy. Chantaye? No thank you? Sav? I still love him. That would be awkward. Maybe I should tell Holly J...

I walked to her house. "Hello, Mrs. Sinclair. Can I go talk to Holly J?"  
"She's in her roo- Anya, are you feeling okay?"  
"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you."

I went to go talk to her.  
**HJ:** Hey, Anya.  
**Me:** I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry about that Cookie Monster thing.  
**HJ:** That was like two years ago. We made up, remember?  
**Me:** Yes, I just wanted you to know I never wanna fight with you, ever and that I'm sorry and I need you in my life.  
**HJ: **Anya, what's the matter?  
**Me: **I'm pregnant...  
**HJ: **Anya, tell me you're joking.  
**Me: **I wish I could *crying*  
**HJ: **Anya, sweetie, you''re only in highschool. You can't hold a baby. You're too young. You're alone too. Sav left you. You can't have a baby, remember Mia Jones? She was a mess! Anya, honey, you can't have a baby, you're too young.  
**Me: **I know I'm too young. And I know I'm alone...  
**HJ: **I'm sorry. You're not alone. You have me. I'll help with the baby, and I'll help you with everything, promise.  
**Me: **Holly J, you have no idea how much I appreciate it. Really, thank you.  
**HJ: **That's what friends are for.  
**Me: **But I feel like I'm gonna be the new deGrassi slut. With a kid!  
**HJ: **They're just labels. Don't take anything personally. I'm known as the DeGrassi school bitch. I don't really find myself as a bitch. That's why I have so many great friends, like you.  
**Me: **But you're my ONLY good friend. You have a lot of good friends. I have nobody besides you.  
**HJ: **Yes you do.  
**Me: **No, I don't. *crying*  
**HJ: **Yes you do. You're crying now. Maybe you should go home. I can help you with everything. I promise I will. I'll help you raise the baby. I promise. I'll help you tell Sav and your parents. You always have me, okay, sweetie?  
**Me: **Holly J, you're the best. *wipes eyes*  
**HJ: **I know. Just kidding. You are, and you're not a slut.

*Leaves Holly J's house*

Now I'm walking home.I'm still crying, but I'm wiping the tears off from my face. I feel so lonely. Holly J is a true friend. I love her sometimes. Not the way I love Sav. Ooh, I still love him.  
Ooh, he sent me a text message. It says to come to his house. I will.

"Anya, please tell me you're joking."  
"Joking about what, mom?"

"I can't believe my daughter is a SLUT"  
"Dad, stop it!"

"How did this happen?"  
"Ali, what are you talking about?"

"Anya, the part that you're pregnant."  
"SAV!"

"How did this happen. How did you turn into a SLUT and get pregnant!"  
"Dad, shut up, this isn't my fault!"

"Oh, my, Anya, were you raped?"  
"No, Mrs. Bhandari, I wasn't."

"Then how did this happen?"  
"Alli, shut up."

"Your father was right, you're a slut with no respect!"  
"Mom, shut up!"

"Anya, honey, calm down, how did this happen?"  
"Ask your son!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Thanks, Holly J, I wasn't ready. Now I ran out crying. Wow. I have tear drops all over my Degrassi sweatshrt. I don't know where I'm running, but I'm running. Running until I find something or someone to help me calm down. I'm a vagabond and I don't care anymore.

I came acrss some girl with red hair.  
She noticed my panther t-shirt and asked if it was DeGrassi. She said she went tere. I was nervous to talk to her. "Oh, sorry, I'm Ellie Nash. I went to Degrassi. My best-friend Marco is the new student-teacher."  
**Me: **"Wait, Ellie Nash? As in THE Ellie Nash? He talks about you all the time! I'm Anya. Hey, what happened to your aarm?"  
**El:**"Oh, I used to cut."  
**Me:**"What do you mean cut?"  
**El:**"I mean cut myself. That day was the worst.. I thought I didn't make my co-op job, someone spilt juice on my shirt, my mom was an alcaholic, and my dad was at war. that was just my stupid way of dealing with things."  
**Me:**"What would you say to somebody pregnant with no friends and had her boyfriend leave her?"  
**El:**"My mom slapped my boyfriend. Marco used to be my boyfriend! Until he came out. I remember pretending to be his girlfriend before he came out to the reast of his friends. I remember he came out to his dad during a play Mr. Simpson held. Hamlett!"  
**Me:** Oh my! Mr. Simpson! He's still a teacher at Degrassi!

Me and Ellie talked for a while. I like her. She's nice. She left to see Marco. I went shopping. She's really nice. I liked what she did. Ellie cut and she turned out fine. While looking for a store, I saw that a window was broken. I took a peice of shadered glass. I took it to my arm. It felt good to see it bleed. I was happy for the first time in a while. I liked the feeling. I liked the numbing. I liked how it scarred me and made me feel good again. Is this what;s gonna be like with a baby? I can tell she's not gonna be all rainbows and butterflies...


	2. Chapter 2

ANYA

What now? What now? Okay, so let's backtrack everything so far. I've been gone for two days now. Today would have been Wednesday. I left Sunday night. That night I decided to sleep by a wall in the middle of nowhere. It was one of those "art" walls. More like graffitti. There's no point in doing something that damages something in a way that may never go away... That reminds me of something...

Last night, while sleeping by the graffitti wall, I noticed something. Besides that part that a handbag doesn't make a good pillow,Iremember what Ellie had taught me. With my arm. I had make about 35 cuts in 2 1/2 days. I alsonoticed that my stomach feels a little 'bigger'. It can't be fat because I haven't eaten since Wednesday night. Dinner. Yum. I had potatos that night. I still taste it in my teeth. I haven't eaten since then... around 6 at night... I also haven't showered either. I also haven't changed my clothes... I have nothing with me. I have the handbag I used as a pillow, my sweatshirt, and shorts. My handbag only had a few items. Lipstick, sunglasses, my cell phone,some gum,and my wallet. My wallet only had about $20 in it. I turned on my phone after turning it off for days, and I had40 new messages. Mom, Dad, Alli, Sav, his parents, Holly J, Chantaye, Riley, Peter, Jane, Spinner, KC, Delcan, and even Fiona. There were many more. Apparentyl Holly J gave EVERYONE my number, becuase I got a zillion txts saying "Anya, it's _, Holly J gave me your number. I miss you and it's important that you come home if you can" and other things like that. I even got one from Rossi!

Mr. Del Rossi had talked to Ellie about me. I guess she wasn't lying. He said that Ellie told him everything. He even called my phone about 17 times. He said he felt bad and he knew what I have probably done. He was right.

Everyone said they missed me and told me this was bad and I needed to come home, but I like this. I'm not going back! I'm enjoying not being found, and doing what I wan. I just need to find myself and think of what I';m gonna do with Alyssa Emma.

Wait a minute, if Ellie recognized I was a DeGrassi student, maybe I should change that. I put on my sunglasses and flipped my shirt inside out. I put my hair up in a bun too. Then I went into Subway with the $20 I had. I needed to eat something. 5$ footlong sounds good. But I'll only eat HALF now, and I'll save theh rest for later.

When I went in, I found Ellie. I looked at the clock and noticed it was around 4 o'clock. She seemd nervous and concerned. The next thing I knew I saw Rossi walk out of the bathroom, hysterically crying. "I can't believe Anya just left like that. Ellie, if you influenced her... Ugh... I can't even breathe right now, I hope she's okay." "I feel terrible. I wish I could just find her and bring her back. Marco, you'll have to help her. If she does this, she'd be screwed for life. Remeber when we went to Hollywood? What I did? Wow... If Anya does that, I'll cry forever. I only knew her for a day, and I love her like she was my daughter. Marco, I'm sorry. Take care of her..."

What happened in Holywood? Why were they crying? I don't even care, they shouldn't. I think I know what heppened in Hollywood now... Did she try to kill herself? I wanted to go ask her if she was okay, and I wanted to know the full Hollywood story. I fastly put on my purple lipstick and chewed some gum from my handbag. I asked them why tey cried and they said "A girl, Anya,has ran way from home for 3 days," They were completely worried. "She was pregnant around 16, and that the baby might die." They also added the part with Ellie's influence. "And now another girl, Holly J, is missing." Hearing that my heart stopped. "She blamed herself for letting everybody know. Anya may be hurting herself and Holly J may be sick. Holly J has a nice self-esteem, but I'm worried about Anya. Her self-esteem is low..." Then Ellie said "It's my fault, I gave her bad advice. I think I was the last one she's talked to and Holly J left this morning to the land unknown."

Holly J is gone now... Good job, Anya. Good job, Anya bitch. I've got everyone crying now, and my only friend missing...

So I set outside and left crying. I went to search fro Holly J. I called her immediantly. She answered.  
"ANYA!"  
"HOLLY J! I heard you were missing..."  
"I'm so sorry for this, Anya"  
"It's okay. Where are you?"  
"You tell me first."  
"I'm at Subway. I saw Rossi, but I'm wearing a disguisse. Sunglasses, panther shirt inside out, and black shorts. Bun and purple lipstick... Mr. Del Rossi said you were missing."  
Holly J hung up. Rossi's phone rang. And she screamed "I KNEW IT WAS HER!" He ran over to me and hugged me with Ellie. They were crying. They looked at my arm. I punched Marco in the face when he tried to pull up my arm... He noticed it was bleeding. I had just cut myself again. He didn't care much for his eye. He just asked me questions. He told me he was taking me back to DeGrassi... I didn't want to go. I ran from him after punching him again. I'm a pacifist, but this is different. He couldn't get up with me. I just ran and ran and ran...

Holly J was never lost, they set me up. Maybe they set me up... Proabably... Well now I'm in some forest. I found a soda can out of the trash. Disgusting? Yeah. I took part of it, the oval part, and took it to my skin. I cut myself again. My arm is completely scrred now...  
Just like the graffitti wall...


	3. Chapter 3

Where to go, where to go? I just keep running away from life, and it never gets me anywhere. I mean, look at me now, I wandered around a little, and I ended up at a park... So now I'm at the park, watching seven year olds be happy and playing with their friends. I wish I was seven. They play with their FRIENDS, not their BABIES, like I'll have to do. They're not lonely like I am. They can trust people. At seven you have friends that won't tell your parents your pregnant. Lucky them, they're too young to go throough what I went through with me and Sav. I love him, and I wanna marry him, but he's going to marry that Farrah bitch... And oh yeah, seven year olds won't have sex with someone when they're arranged to marry some bitch, and then when they get you pregnant, they won't leave you... Lucky seven year olds won't even dare to have sex. They find it "yucky"... Well, I feel yucky right now... Thanks a lot, Sav.

Wow, I really like him, don't I? I need him... No I don't. He'll only break my heart again. Lucky seven year olds won't have their hearts broken like I do.

Torchuring myself, I watch them continuously. I even started crying about how much I miss being little like that. Then one little girl, around the age of five to seven came over to me.

**SR: **Hi!

**ME: **Hello

**SR: **What's the matter? You look sad...

**ME:** It's just about a guy... He's broken my heart too may times and I don't know what to do anymore.

**SR: **A boy? Boys are icky!

**ME: **Believe that for as live as you live. It'll save you one day

**SR: **I will. I'm Sarah.

**ME:** I'm Anya.

**SR: **That's a pretty name! You know what's not pretty? You're arm! What happened? Did you get a boo-boo?  
**ME: **That's what I was talking about. This boy keeps hurting me, mentally and pysically. I don't know what to do anymore... Sarah, what would you do?  
**SR: **A guy that gives a girl boo-boos isn't nice. There's no reason to stay with him if he gives you boo-boos. If he hurts your feelings, you should go bye-bye on him. He's not worth it. Especially if he's a meanie.

**ME: **Thank you, Sarah.

**SR:** You're welcome. Do you want to come play with my friend Sav and Katie?

**ME: **Sav! *crying*

**SR: **Oh... Is he the meanie you were talking about?

**ME: **Uh-huh.

**SR: **Oh, oopsies... Sorry...

**ME: **Don't be sorry. Just don't let your guy-friend Sav get to you. Remember that boys are icky. And when you do LOVE him, and when you two almost have a baby, if Katie tears you two apart... You'll... Just remember not to let him get to you, save yourself the tears.

**SR:** I will, Anya. Bye-bye!

She was sweet. Sarah? Maybe I'll name the baby Sarah Kailynn. I like that... You know what I like a LOT? Sav. I can't believe her friend's name was Sav. That's just freaky...

I lied to Sarah... Sav never gave me a "boo-boo", but I've given myself "boo-boos"... Is that bad? Well, I don't care... And Sav has given me boo-boos, he's broken my heart way too many times... Maybe Sarah was right, maybe I should give up on Sav... Not when I'm pregnant with HIS effing child...

**JA: **Uh-oh...Your arm is bleeding...

**ME:** Oh...

**JA:** Hold on a minute, okay...  
**ME: **Ummm, ok...

**...**

**EM: **Hello. What's ur name?

**ME: **Uhhh, my name is Anya...

**EM: **Oh, well I'm Emma. My brother Jack said he talked to you... he siad that your arm was bleeding...

**ME:** Well, yeah, but...

**EM: **But nothing. Why are you bleeding?

**ME: **I scratched it on a branch...

**EM: **Hey, I am not THAT stupid...

*wipes Anya's arm*

Hey... Did you, you know, cut yourself or something...?

**ME: **Hey, listen, I don't even know you, okay, so leave me alone and I'll do whatever the hell I want. Bye, Emma!

**EM: **Yeah you do. Degrassi sweatshirt? I used to go to Degrassi. I went there a few weeks ago for a cross-country bike-ride with my boyfriend Kelly. Emma NELSON.

**ME: **Okay, listen, blondie, I've met enough Degrassi alumni this week... So leave me alone, okay?

**EM: **Okay, Anya...

*Emma takes out phone* "I GOT HER, MARCO!"

At that moment I started running like I was running for my dear life. My life's not that dear is it now? Let's see, a pregnancy, a broken heart, and self-harm "boo-boos" all-over my arm... Maybe I should just give up... I mean, I'm friend-less, and I've got my phobias popping up everywhere. I mean, when I was about Sarah's age, I promised myself never to be what I've become. I promised never to be the shy, goth, "emo" one. I promised myself never to get an eating disorder, never have a baby when I'm too young, never do something I don't want to, Never do anything that I'm unhappy with... Am I happy with cutting? I am, but I'm giving myself 'boo-boos'. And I promised never to hurt anyone. I know that's impossible, but when I was little, I had an opened mind. I was happy and couraged. I believed in fairy-tales, happy endings, and that I would have my Cinderella story scene. When I fall in love with someone and I lose something that I need, the guy of my dreams gives it back to me... But I know I'll never get that Cinderella scene. What did I lose to someone I loved? My VIRGINITY. And I'll never get that back. Cinderella is all about the finding the guy of your dreams, when he gives you back something important that you already had (her glass slipper) and when he gives you something you never had, true love. I can live that out with the guy giving me back a put-together heart, and him giving me true love... And as I think now... Sex. But I've waisted that on Sav. He wasn't the guy of my dreams. I've waisted everything on him... And now I have nothing... What do I got to lose...

Focus, Anya, if you keep thinking about this crap, you''ll end up doing something stupid... Keep running. A speeding car just pulled up, Mr. Del Rossi just came out of it... Run? Hell yeah...  
...

Damn, I wish I was seven right now...

...


	4. Chapter 4

Where am I? I don't remember this place... I'm in a blank white room... I'm alone here. I don't like this place very much. I open my eyes up a bit more, and I see that there is all white walls, and a white ceiling. No doors It's like, a blank place, and that's it... Where could I be? What happened to me? I'm all alone here... Did I run away to some place? This doesn't look like I did... Where could I be? I don't think I've ever been here before. It looks really weird. Like a dream... Oh gosh... Am I dead?

"Oh my... Where am I? This place looks so freaky. I've never seen this before..." I keep whispering to myself. "HELP ME! WHERE AM I!" I scream at the top of my lungs, hoping to be heard. "IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, COME SAVE ME! PLEASE!" Yet, I hear no fottsteps... I hear nothing...

All that's in this room is a bed... And it's white too! Should I be scared? What am I gonna do about this? How can I get out of here? Why am I here? Best question: WHERE IS HERE?

Hey, why was I on the floor? I was lying on the floor... Did I fall asleep? Again I'll ask: Where am I? Okay, I'm really scared right now... maybe I should call my parents and go home now... Where did my cell phone go? Okay, this is REAL freaky. I'm really scared... Oh my god, I just noticed that my belt disapeared! Oh god... Was I raped? Is he holding me here to do it again? If I was, why aren't there any doors here?

Slowing leaning down to sit on the floor, I noticed something. I noticed that there is a secret door thingy here! It's a slide door. Pull it open? Sure...

Thank you, God, there is a door! Yay! Should I walk out? Maybe there is a rapist on the other side... Or a murderer... Or an abuser... Was I here to be set to be abused? Does somebody want to kill me? In life, you hurt people, life's that way, you can't help it, but why does somebody want to murder me? I think I'll risk it. 'm going through the door...

**DR: **"Anya, deary, you're awake."

**ME: **"Ummm, who are you?"

**DR: **"Who are you?"

**ME: **"I am Anya..."

**DR: **"What's your last name, deary?"

**ME: **"McPherson... Who the hell are you?"

**DR: **"Anya McPherson, I'm here to help you. Don't be frightened."

**ME: **"But I am... Very"

**DR: **"What are you going to do about it?"

**ME: **"Nothing, I guess..."

**DR: **"Correct answer. Never be frightened. So, Anya, tell me about yourself."

**ME: **"Should I trust you?"

**DR: **"Well, do you trust YOURSELF?"

**ME: **"Well, yes...

**DR: **"Then tell me about yourself yourself, deary..."

**ME: **"Uhhh,... I'm Anya MacPherson... I'm 15, a softmore at Degrassi... I have dyslexia... My best friend is Holly Jenette Sinclair... "

**DR: **"And do you like that?"

**ME: **"Excuse me?"

**DR: **"Do you like yourself"

**ME: **"Well, not always..."

**DR: **"Good-bye"

**ME: **"Wait!"

Then the fat brown-hair lady walked out... She had black round glasses falling down onto her nose. She kinda scared me... She looked like a nice lady... But she scared me a lot...

Now I try to go open the slider-door... It's locked...

Oh joy, I'm stuck here alone. In a room with big white walls, ceiling, and no doors. And now I can't get the slider thingy to open. I'm here alone and I don't know why I'm here... And I don't know where I am... I feel like I'm in a dream... Or in a mental hospital... OH MY GOD, I THINK I AM! An all white room, and some doctor-looking bitch asking me if I'm happy with myself... I think I am... Oh god, this is NOT gonna be fun...

But how did I get here...

Oh, god...

I wish I was seven...


	5. Chapter 5

"Awwww, my hair looks so pretty right now. And my thighs look great. Awww, I'm so happy right now. I just want to get out of here and take a swim in the ocean. That beaaaaautful ocean. With the beauuuuuutiful waves and beaaaaaaaaautiful seashells. Awww, I love life."

I FINALLY did it! Someone is FINALLY coming for me! I hear footsteps! YAY! Talking to myself actually works sometimes! Someone heard me being nice to myself and finally came to save me from here! I wish someone would save me from life... It wouldn't be as bad if I were Cinderella, With Prince Sav Chraming, here to save me with open arms... Damn, do I love him...

Then that lady walked in again. "Anya, deary, you're awake."

I shook my head and answered her back. "Yes, I am. And I'm feeling good! How are you?"

She looked happy. A smile grew across her face. "I'm very good, deary... By any chance, do you remember what happened yesterday?"

Something happened yesterday! I knew it! "No, mam, but can you tell me?"

"You don't remember, deary?"

I tried to seem inncent and really nice. "Not at all... I can't think of anything... I just remember waking up, from the floor, and screaming, trying to see if somebody listens."

"You scream and nobody listens to you... Is that how life feels?"

Oh, gosh... Is this girl a pyschologist? Well, maybe she can help me... Why do I need help, it doesn't matter. I'm as screwed up as that grafitti wall. Parmanent with nobody to save it... Oh yay... What should I say to her? "No, but sometimes I wish I could be Cinderella, and watch the guy of my dreams love me forever, and never dare to leave me. Or maybe even Ariel, watching the beautiful ocean, knowing that nothing can ever hurt me." Was that good enough?

She looked glad to see me as an open-minded believer. "So, Anya deary, you like Cinderella?"

Uh-oh,. what did I do? "Well, yes. And Ariel too. But I like Cinderella waaaaaaaaaaay nmore. I just like how ARiel is a believer and feels like nothing can hurt her."

She looked a bit surprized. "Can anything hurt you while being Anya McPherson?"

"No... Well, yes, but I try not to let it hurt me. There ar other great things in life."

She looked suspicious now... Should I be worried?

"Well, deary, I'm glad you think that way. That will get you to live a happy, fuller life."

Okay, she's on to me now. "Yes it will. My goal is to live to be 100."

She looked at me with a very confused face. "Is that REALLY your goal in life, Anya?"

I think I'm catching on now...How dumb was I? She pointed out Cinderella, how long my life would be... I think I've got it now... "Yes, it's my goal... Um, what did I do to make me get here... And where is here... And who are you?"

She had a look on her face. That 'should I tell her?' look. I decided to say something to her. "Pleaaaase tell me. I think I need to know."

She had that face on... That face when you're about to say something that will add on greif, or when you admit something important and devastating... I need to hear this now.

then she finally started speaking to me. "Anya...deary... My name is Laura. I'm your physcoligist here. Think of me as your friend. You're here at MillyAnn's Pyschological Hospital... This is not a punishment, Anya. We're here to help you, in every way that we can. Anya, dear... Last night, Marco Del Rossi found you after you ran away. You were in the park, and somebody found you hurting yourself. They told Marco about it. He came to get you, and you ran away again. You ran into the street and screamed out 'Cinderella McPherson!' and ran into the street, in front of a car."

My mouth grew wide. My mouth dropped open. "Oh my God... Did I SERIOUSLY do that?"

"Yes, deary, you did. You're here so we can help you get over your cutting habit and your suicidal cries. We're here to help you, Anya, we really are. I'm here for you to talk. I want to make you better. I'll be in here at 11:30 everyday. If you want me other times, I'll be here. Just say my name. Here you will follow a schedule, and you WILL have to talk to others. You will not stay in your room alone, always."

I didnm't know what to say to her. "I'm usually not like that, I swear. I don't what got into me... I hardly even believe that I did that. Thank you, Laura, for trying to help me. I appreciate it."

She replied back. "You're very welcome. You will not stay here, only for bedtime... Which is 9:30"

I shook my head yes. She took me to another room. This time, it had CLEAR walls. So people can see me...

WHY would I commit suicide? Like, seriously, I love my life. I donn't want to end it... At all... I've never been suicidal, like at ALL. ...

So, I screamed out 'Cinderella'? And now I'm in a mental facility... Oh, joy oh joy. What's gonna happen here? Will I ever get out? When? What's gonna happen when I get back to school? Will I ever go back to school? Who's been talking about me?... I bet CINDERELLA didn't go through all this...


End file.
